Tuesday, May 18, 2010

TTT Speak the Truth in Love


is it harder for you to speak kindly or honestly?

Welcome to Table Topics Tuesday! It's hosted each week by Shannon at Welcome to the NutHouse! To participate, simply click on the button above.

This week's question is intriguing. I find it hard to write light-heartedly about this one. I've always believed that it's best to speak kindly and honestly, but it is very hard to accomplish.

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Is that always true?

"The truth hurts." Is it sometimes important to speak honestly, even if it doesn't seem kind?

I'll be very interested to read the other posts on this topic linked to Shannon's blog.

For me, it's easier to be kind than truthful. I'm sensitive, and I know how much words can hurt, so I try not to say things that are hurtful. But I don't always succeed. Sometimes I try to be clever and funny and don't think enough about how the other person might feel. I've put my foot in my mouth as much as the next person.

I'm not an argumentative person. I'm not likely to tell you that I think you're wrong, even if I do! I do have passionate opinions about various issues, but in a group situation I'm not going to cut you down and rip your opinion to shreds. I'll just listen quietly if I don't agree, until there is an opportunity for me to say something positive.

In close relationships, it's important to be honest. For me, I need to feel very safe with someone in order to open up and speak honestly. I can talk to my husband Chris about anything. I have a few other friends that I also share very honestly with. For other people that I don't feel as safe with, I tend to hold back.

Thanks Shannon, for the chance to psychoanalyse myself!

What about you? Is it easier for you to speak kindly or honestly?


CaraBee said...

As I was writing my post, I was really wondering how others would respond. If they would interpret this the same way. I do *try* to be nice, but honest, too. It's a tough, tough balance.

Brandy said...

I rather be nice than truthful. Sometimes that bites me in the rear especially with family. And makes me somewhat of a pushover.

Jane In The Jungle said...

I totally understand where you're coming from!

Shannon said...

I think most of us feel the same way.

I don't like to be confrontational, so I'm likely to keep quiet and not speak honestly when I think someone is wrong.

This was a very thought-provoking question for this week!