I got nothing people. Nothing.
I'm literally forcing myself to write in the hope that some inspiration will strike.
I haven't written anything lately because I've had nothing to say. Simple really.
Why haven't I got anything to say? I don't know.
Life has been frolicking along as usual. It's school holidays here and we've had a ballet eisteddfod and it's Josh's birthday tomorrow and I've got a list as long as my arm of "things to do"...
...And no motivation for anything.
I've been here before. When I get tired I'm susceptible to depression. That's just something I've learned about myself. And a "red flag" that indicates that I might be heading down that road is when I can't find the motivation to do things that I usually find fun.
Aha! I think we've gotten to the bottom of things now.
Thankfully, over the past few years I've developed a "box of tricks" to put into action when I feel myself starting on the downward slide. I'd like to share them with you.
1. I am my own best friend. I love myself and care for myself.
The important thing for me to remember is to not wait for someone else to take care of me. By all means, I should speak up and tell those close to me what I need. I should ask for help. And because I have awesome people around me, I will receive love and care. But I must not wait passively, hoping that others will notice that I need a bit of extra care. And I must not rely on others to provide me with all the love and care that I need.
I must put on my "big girl pants" and think about what I really need and make it happen. I'm an adult and it's my job to say "yes" or "no" to things as is appropriate to my needs. It's my job to make my needs my first priority. I'm no good to anyone else unless I'm healthy and happy.
2. What feels good in the moment isn't always good for me.
It's tempting when I'm feeling a bit down to try to pick myself up by spending money or eating lots of chocolate or hibernating. And although I can kid myself that I'm giving myself a much deserved treat, these things don't really make me feel any better. Again, it's time for the "big girl pants" and a sensible approach to what will really make me feel good. As boring as it might sound, eating healthy foods and exercising and getting amongst it with friends and activities are actually the things that feel good in the long term. I very much enjoy a glass of wine, but when I'm pouring myself a glass every night I know that the alarm bells are sounding.
3. Writing helps me to work through what I'm thinking and feeling.
Everyone's different. Maybe writing isn't your thing, but it works for me. I don't always do it this way, in a public forum. I keep a journal beside my bed, and I find it helpful to write last thing at night or first thing in the morning. Just like in this blog post, I find that even if I start off not knowing what I'm going to write about, I always find that as the page gets filled, my thoughts and feelings unravel before me and start to make sense.
Guess what? I feel better now. Ready to face my "to do" list.
I think I might take the dog for a walk and get some fresh air.
*** This post has been a bit like doing therapy in public. I hope I haven't overshared. I also hope that this post may have helped you in some way. ***