Monday, March 2, 2009

Confession Time

I have a confession to make...I don't think I want to become a teacher librarian. When I decided to do my MEd, it was with the intention of "keeping my options open". As I am already a qualified and experienced teacher, the MEd will qualify me to be a teacher librarian (work in a school library) or a regular librarian in a public, private or "special" library. After much thought and soul-searching, I believed that working in a library would be enjoyable for me. This course seemed the way to get the most "bang for my buck" so to speak.
I guess I imagined a library to be a nice calm, quiet environment to work in. I imagined it to be intellectually stimulating, and frankly, downright bliss to be surrounded by so many books! I love to read; fiction, but I also read quite a lot of non-fiction for recreational purposes. I just like to learn new things! I enjoy biographies, and lately I've been reading quite a lot in the psychology/mind-body-spirit/philosophy subject areas. I've been re-thinking some of my answers to the 'Who am I?' and 'Why am I here?' questions of life.
I also know enough about myself to realise that I'm a good organiser, and I don't at all mind routine "administrative" tasks. I believed that within a library was a wonderful place for me to make use of these skills.
I'm a great communicator, both verbally and with the written word. I believed that I would be a great asset in a library when it came to interacting with "clients", be they young mothers with children trying to get some "time out" at storytime in the children's library, or adult researchers needing help to access information.
In my course, the focus has been squarely put on the school context. There has been a huge emphasis on collaboration with teachers, planning of teaching and learning programs and lots of interaction with students. Now don't get me wrong, I love interacting with students...one at a time! The reason why I am not currently working in a school as a teacher is because I don't like the classroom context. I don't like having to deal with behaviour, I don't like trying to teach 30 individuals all the same thing in a 40 minute period, and I don't like working alongside colleagues who have no interest in collaborating with or supporting each other. I have been in schools that have no written program! (They just follow the text book and try to get to the end of it by the end of the year!!!) I have been in schools where there is no support for new teachers or help for them to improve their classroom management skills.
I'm not a fan of the idea of jumping back into that world. However, I'll try to keep an open mind as I continue on with my course...

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